Lowering the Bar for Preachers: They’re Called!
I like the name of the lawyer’s entrance requirements: the bar. Have you considered that the only realm where we reward lowering the bar is limbo? In everything else we, um, like the higher standard as a means of evaluation. Imagine the commentary for high jump at the Reverse Olympics:
They have lowered the bar now to five feet seven inches from the previous height of seven feet six and this high jumper from Albania is beginning his approach to the bar. This Albanian jumper uses his own unorthodox style that looks very similar to runners in the high hurdles. Oh my He cleared it with ease and this is a new low in these Olympics!
Why should a restaurant be closed just because of a microscopic e-coli bacteria? Kind of stiff isn’t it, especially when these wonderful restaurants have received certificates of authentication from special associations designed for this purpose? As a digression, I remember a certain Smorga-Bobs where upon entering I heard someone declare: The chicken doesn’t seem done! I wished I had remembered that statement I was only able to recall those words as I bowed before our white porcelain household appliance, practicing my own unique brand of limbo. The filets were even more tender the second time. And can you imagine these advertisements?
We are proud to announce that our pilots were able to pass their requirements according to our new affirmative action policies.
In light of the difficulty of finding enough surgeons to meet the demands, we are pleased to inform our patients that we were able to fill all of our vacant positions by simply lowering the qualifications this year! We hope you enjoy your stay!
We keep a garage full of trained mechanics by guaranteeing you at least twelve per cent more engine trouble!
To infiltrate these Islamic cells, we’ve lowered our Arabic requirements to minimal levels.Â Come and enjoy a lifetime of service in our new CIA!
In most areas of life, we don’t give out the yellow ribbon for participation. “I realize that you massacred that root canal, but we’d still like to give you this special token of our appreciation for drilling!” Not happening.
Well, except for preachers, oh, who have been “called.” Boys go to Bible college. They got “called to preach.” You don’t even need to get that out of a box of cereal or Cracker Jacks. You just need a testimony. I can write one up for you if you don’t have it. And if not, well, google. At a lot of institutions of higher learning, you have to pass a sophomore check to continue on in your speech or piano minor. Education majors go through student teaching, and perhaps someone can “not recommend.” Um, perhaps I shouldn’t go there. I digress again to say that I have found that a majority of teachers get trained by the Christian school who pays them. Christian colleges, on the other hand, often get paid in order to give these same people what we call a diploma. Diplomas cost a lot of money They will get you a Christian school job where you will then be paid (not much) to be trained. By the way, if you stop liking teaching, you can always just say that you found out that you weren’t called to do that.
The college shouldn’t subject preachers to a preaching platform because they’ve been called, and who can doubt that? When I was in college, this was a common conversation in the dormitory:
You taking Greek?
No way. It’s way too hard, and I don’t need it anyway.
Think you’ll go to grad school?
I don’t think so. I’ve heard it’s really hard. I want to just get out and get started in the ministry. I’m tired of school anyway.
We would sit in homiletics class and listen to one horrible message after another from these called individuals. As a speech minor, if I had ever done a speech like they preached for my sophomore platform, I would have been looking for a different minor, perhaps something easier so that I could get my diploma faster. So much more is at stake in the training of a pastor. Sure, we need more of them, many more of them, but we discredit the office and God when we lower the bar just because they’re called.
Next week, I’ll continue along this train of thought, considering these themes: Who Is Qualified, Who Qualifies, The Ordination, and Maybe More