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December 29, 2006


It was the best of questions, it was the worst of questions, it was the inquiry of wisdom, it was the inquiry of foolishness, it was the query of belief, it was the query of incredulity, it was the inquest of Light, it was the inquest of darkness, it was the interrogation of hope, it was the interrogation of despair, we had everything to question, we had nothing to question, were were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the inquisitions were so far like the present inquisitions, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.(1)

Questions, Questions everywhere.
Questions, questions in my hair.
Questions, questions on the rug.
Questions, questions, they do bug.

Questions about silly stuff,
We will ask them, that’s enough.
Questions are important too,
Questions we will ask of you.

Answers, they will later come.
When they do, you better…think about it.
Answers are important too,
That’s why we have Brandenburg (and Voegtlin too).

We’ve got questions, yes we do!  We’ve got questions, how ‘bout you?
– Some Famous Japanese Philosopher

We’ve been giving all the answers, now we want to ask some questions.  Deep questions, shallow questions, important questions, silly questions.  Questions with bold faces and no hair.  Questions with large jaws and plain faces.  Questions with round faces and moon-shaped eyes.  Questions that your Sunday School teachers wouldn’t ask.  Questions your Sunday School students would.  Questions that will make you smile.  Questions that will make us cringe.  Big questions, little questions, rhetorical questions, logical questions.  Questions that need a question mark.  Questions that need no question mark.

What’s the point?  Why are we asking questions all month?  Are we reverting back to our three year old selves?  Do we really think it is necessary to ask so many questions?  Why are we wasting everybody’s time?  And why is it that the Mallet Factor is the only one with hair on this blog?

QuestionsThis month on JACKHAMMERS: all the questions you never wanted answered.  We’ve got questions.  We hope somebody out there has answers.  Hammer Time wants to know who we’re supposed to be praying for.  Sledge wants to ask questions from the bottom of the pool.  Bring your snorkle… better yet; bring your scuba gear, because he’s going deep – Terrell Owens deep.  Let’s hope he doesn’t drop the ball too.  Mallet Factor has some questions about music.  Not what you’d think, though.  Just the usual sarcasm.  Scornful sarcasm, that is… with apologies to Tom Pryde.

Bring your notebooks and listen up.  And don’t be cheeky.

Judge of a man by his questions rather than by his answers.

A child can ask a thousand questions that the wisest man cannot answer.
—J. Abbott

Any fool can ask a question.
—Mr. Anonymous the Courageous

For every fool who asks a question, there are ten fools anxious to answer.
— The Other Mr. Anonymous

We’ll prove it.

(1) Adapted from Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities.  Though Dickens died shortly before the invention of JackHammers, we feel quite confident that he would have heartily endorsed this version of his work.

Categories: Jack Hammer, Questions
  1. December 30, 2006 at 2:53 pm

    How do we know you have hair?

  2. December 30, 2006 at 3:52 pm

    We know PV, you don’t!

  3. December 31, 2006 at 4:42 am

    It has to be the titles.

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