Who Needs Psalm-singing? We’ve Got Hefty Chorus Thingy’s!
See the newest song for discipling children! Guaranteed to mature them in the faith! Clearly an anthem of conquest! Everybody! Sing!
Potato Chip, potato chip.
Crunchy Crunchy!
I love Jesus a bunchy, bunchy!
Peanut butter, peanut butter.
Creamy, creamy!
I hate the devil, he’s a meany, meany!
Destined to go down in history with the great Hymns of the Faith. This song deserves to get pasted right in the front cover of your Praise Hymn chorus book. Highly recommended for building your Future Giant of the Faith. Now if we can just get it to fit to the tune of Holy, Holy, Holy…
P.S.
Might I suggest another verse? It could possibly enrich the song that much more…
Kool aid, kool aid.
Sippy, sippy!
I love my church.
It’s so dippy, dippy!
Firecracker, firecracker.
Bangy, Bangy!
Come ride my bus!
It’s so clangy, clangy!
P.S.S. – Now you try! Add your own verse! Give it your best shoddy shotty!
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Jack Hammer 
I am feeling pain,
I am feeling pain,
I am feeling pain,
I am feeling pain.
So I look above,
So I look above,
So I look above,
So I look above,
And I feel his love, his love, his love, his love.
Celery, celery
Stringy, stringy
I love to sing
These chorus thingy thingys
Oh Kent, what’s the tune to your song?
I sang my composition to my wife and she “liked” it, especially the rich message.
These songs have tunes?
BTW- I think the Jackhammr guys should do some audio samples like the ones provided on the link.
Orange juice, orange juice.
Tangy, Tangy!
I love my pants
They really hangy, hangy!
Fried eggs, fried eggs.
Runny, runny!
I want to eat
A chocolate Easter bunny!
We’d do audio samples, but we don’t have the quality voice training evident on the link.
Nacho, nacho.
Cheesy, cheesy!
Thinkin’ up these songs
It’s so easy, easy!
Mozzarella, mozzarella.
Stringy, stringy!
I could play the tunes
With my fingy, fingy!
You all really should check out the Ice Cream Song and Fried Ham, Fried Ham also!
Cotton candy, Cotton candy
Messy, Messy,
Some try to preach
Without splainin’ the Bible versy.
Cotton candy, Cotton candy,
fluffy, fluffy,
I think I’d rather stick
to my sour candy.
Jackhammr, Jackhammr,
Bangy, Bangy,
I love that sound, it’s so
Clangy Clangy,
Conflict, Conflict,
It’s so Yummy, Yummy,
But is there no room for
Chummy, Chummy?
White Castle, White Castle
Sliders, Sliders
Just like the Good News
It makes you cleaner Insider.
White Castle, White Castle
Steamy and Greasy
Let’s Go and witness
Its so easy-easy!
The content to these songs is so overwhelming that I hardly know what to say—but I plan to say it loud enough to win the bus prize. Here is a question, question, for consideration, consideration: If the psalms are our pattern for hymnody, so that we are to compose hymns that are like the inspired songs of God in their content, and, out of 150 inspired songs in the psalter and other songs (the song of Moses, Deborah, etc.) in the other portions of Scripture, there are zero songs written specifically for children, is there a Biblical warrent for composing songs with weaker/simpler content for children? If there is not, then could we be helping to prevent children from liking rich hymns by feeding them the potato chip songs? Could it also be that these sorts of songs filter into adult worship over time and help dumb that down as well?
Why sing a song that is inspired, inspired?
Our pointless ones leave me wired, real wired!
But songs filled with doctrine make me tired, real tired–
So no hymns like psalms that are inspired, inspired!
Hurrah! Grab the potato chips, the bubble gum, and the golden calf!
Very funny, Thomas. I got a couple loud cackles out of that one.
Of course, your first paragraph was the whole point of Pastor Mallinak’s post, unless I’m mistaken.
Thomas said: Could it also be that these sorts of songs filter into adult worship over time and help dumb that down as well?
I was actually thinking the other way around. Dumb ADULT songs filter into kids songs over time and help dumb them down.
For an example of children’s songs in the Bible, see Matthew 21:15.
Dear Pastor Mallinkak,
Thank you for the thoughts on these things. I had never thought about Matthew 21:15 in this connection. Would we say that this verse is a basis for our constructing a particular type of song for children, or simply a basis for children singing? How would we know that the verse is the former, rather than the latter? Also, how do we know that “children” in the verse does not mean “children of God,” rather than those who have not gotten very old? Thanks!
Matthew 21:16 And said unto him, Hearest thou what these say? And Jesus saith unto them, Yea; have ye never read, Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings thou hast perfected praise?
Psalms 8:2 Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength because of thine enemies, that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger.
Doesn’t sound like adults or teens to me…
Certainly children should sing to the Lord; I am not sure how Mat 21:16 or Ps 8:2 demonstrate a particular type of song that is simplified/dumbed down specifically for them. In other words, should children sing the psalms and hymns like “Glorious Things of Thee are Spoken,” or should they sing “the B-I-B-L-E” instead? Furthermore, since I have never seen a suckling, a baby so young it is still drinking his mother’s milk, singing any kind of song, I don’t see how Mt 21:16 is going to prove that children much older than sucklings are to have a specific type of simplified song created for them.
I am in agreement with the need to assess the value or lack thereof of many of the children’s songs throughout history. I grew up singing songs such as ‘Deep and Wide’ which carry little if any significance spiritually to the kids who sang it. I would recommend people avoid such songs as these that trivialize spiritual truth to make it appear silly or that are indeed shallow in their message so as to convey no valuable spiritual message at all.
Having said this, I find it very unfair and academically irresponsible to make the leap from these sorts of children’s songs that were written to sing on a bus load of children to occupy their time and equate this with modern praise and worship music. I get rather annoyed when people who want to discredit modern praise choruses run to such obvious extreme examples that wouldn’t resonate with any of the churches that I have ever visited who incorporate contemporary music into their services. Marva Dawn does this regularly in her book, Reaching Out Without Dumbing Down. In her book, Dawn regularly quotes men or gives examples that she acknowledges herself to be extreme examples or ones that overstate the point to a degree that she isn’t in complete agreement with. She says that her reason for doing this is to make a point of what she claims is more subtle in most modern songs. However, I believe that an author loses credibility when he/she only attacks the extremes and never deals with the average example. Just as many churches seek to use wisdom in which hymns they sing, so too many churches seek to use wisdom in the choruses they sing.
I believe that if one wants to adequately condemn modern choruses, than they need to address the common popular praise songs that are used in churches every Sunday around America and stop putting up straw men arguments from web sites with goofy children’s songs. I would put Matt Redman’s ‘Blessed Be Your Name’ which is taken right from the story of Job, or Laura Story’s ‘Indescribable’, or Tim Hughs’ ‘Here I Am to Worship’ or ‘May the Words of My Mouth’ taken right from Ps. 19:14 up against almost any hymn as being sound doctrinally as well as having a legitimate message worthy of being sung in any worship service. I would even put the notorious ‘Shine Jesus Shine’ up against many of the traditional hymns as being a very worthy song to sing. For anyone who is willing to look beyond the title, it has great words that draw on the analogy of Jesus being the Light of the World (Jn. 8:12; 9:5) who shines in our hearts to enable us to be lights in the world (Mt. 5:14). The final verse is my favorite which is taken right from 2 Corinthians 3:18 which says that as we behold God’s glory and gaze on his brightness, we become like him and reflect his glory to others. Contrary to popular belief, ‘Shine Jesus Shine’ is very Scriptural and very worthy of being sung in worship services, at least it is from my limited perspective.
I am not saying that those who have contributed to this discussion thus far are guilty of all, most or even some of the things that I have alluded to. I have no idea where many of you stand. I am simply begging for fairness and honesty from all in the debate over music and lyrics in contemporary worship.