Home > Jack Hammer, Jack Schaap > Wordz i Lernnt thes Munth

Wordz i Lernnt thes Munth

October 29, 2007

i foggot to put in my list of reasons why not to talk about Jack Skaapp the one you now about learnnin.i can’t do all thet memerizing and stufff.but I guess I should have said,”NUMBER ELEVEN:I DONT FELL LIKE LERNNIN ANY KNEW WORDZ”so,hear we our after a munth of boggling and I lernned so many new words.i figure i can recapp them and try and make sure I got the right meenin with the right wordZ.

CRAP — n. ConsistentlyRegularAbnormalPoppycock

scouffer — n. [1] the new name of your favorite frozen dish; Stouffer’s latest competition found in the freezer section of your local supermarket. If not, ask the manager when it will be available. [2] a scooper that has a hard time pronouncing explicatives; thus the ‘p’ is softened to sound like ‘f’ and rather than double the ‘o’ the ‘f’ gets repeated and the second ‘o’ gets changed to ‘u’ to avoid the use of double doubles in the same word. [3] you supply the definition.

rath — n. a feeling of wrath so intense that you don’t have time to double the U.  Also known as “wrath.” Etymologists have theorized for years that more primitive societies left off the “W” simply because it’s simpler with fewer letters.

moron — adj. describes a large religious organization that follows the teachings of the prophet Joseph Smith. Some of their members perform in the Moron TAB and Apple Choir.

And then there are those comments that you can’t comment about.  They just speak for themselves:

that statement is typical of people you go to FBC.Lady i don;t know were you go,i’m jens Aunt i’ve been going to FBC since 1976 and never heard such criticism about are church if you don’t like whats going on their thats for choice leave everyone else alone!!!!!!!!!!

Whew,i’m tired;giv me a break;while i go GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Categories: Jack Hammer, Jack Schaap
  1. October 29, 2007 at 8:58 am

    I didn’t know the “c” word was an acronym. It just doesn’t smell right to me.

  2. October 29, 2007 at 4:14 pm

    Nothing is so self-evidently true that it need not be tested by Scripture. This would include Hyles’ doctrine and personal greatness.

    It’s truly amazing, I just re-read the entire Hylot month of blogs and comments and didn’t find one Biblical defense of any criticism offered about Hyles’ twisted doctrines and practices. Only platitudes about bears coming out of the woods and eating us!

    I guess we can take that as an admission that deep down, the Hylots know something is wrong.

    A wise guy once said, “You raise your voice when you should reinforce your arguments”.

    C’mon FBCH members and HAC students!! Give me just ONE Biblical argument to defend your dear idols! That way I’d at least believe that you believe and feel sorry for you!

    Try defending Hyles doctrine of “repentance is a work” (Hezekia 13:…something…) or “Hyles Has More Mercy than God” (i.e. “I don’t object so much to sinnin'”), or, I know, how about, “Thank you Adam for Sin!!” (Like it’s my birthday!).

    These are heresies preached by Hyles. And when Hyles folks raise their voices rather than debate the merits of these false doctrines from Scripture, they tip their cards, so to speak. They refuse to embark on a venture they couldn’t hope to finish. There aren’t any passages to turn to for much of what Hyles preached. Yet the Hyles folks accept it anyway! But I’ll bet I know why: The only reason our Savior didn’t say it was because He didn’t think of it?

    You’re men pleasers. Prove me wrong.

  3. October 29, 2007 at 7:34 pm

    Bro. Jason,

    Hyles taught his followers a kind of works sanctification in which good works really do outweigh bad works once you’ve been saved. Hyles had lots of problems but he did so much “good.” That was the Curtis Hutson defense as well. “God needed him despite all those flaws.” Of course, Paul himself said he had to bring himself under subjection lest even he be a castaway. Plus it is difficult to admit that we’ve been duped. Any one of us can be duped at some point though, folks. Paul said that they creep in unawares, and David was deceived by Ahithophel. You should see the false doctrine and practice and push the eject button from Hyles and come clean through Scripture.

  4. October 30, 2007 at 1:01 pm

    Pastor Brandenburg,

    Amen to that. That’s good: The Apostle Paul feared to be cast away by God. There’s a lesson in that for all of us.

    In driving home from work last night it occurred to me that even Almighty God entertained an accusation against Job by the Devil in order to prove Job a just man. But Hylots will not entertain an accusation against Hyles even if it was only to justify Hyles (which it would not be).

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