Home > Fundamentalism > Lord of the Sword Publisher goes “Rogue”

Lord of the Sword Publisher goes “Rogue”

December 22, 2009

By Hugh Dathunk

Murfreesboro – Readers were bemused, and a few downright outraged recently when Lord of the Sword publisher Hilton Heath decided to sprinkle a little honesty into his otherwise tame and very predictable “Editor’s Notes” article.  “I realized that most of my reports in that section were little more than flattery designed to get me more meetings in more churches.  Since my schedule was overloaded already, I decided to prune some future meetings.”

“Prune some meetings?  I’ll say,” said Dr. Winslow Neasy, senior pastor of Hamilton Boulevard Baptist Church and regular featured speaker in the annual Lord of the Sword Convention.  “More like he wacked them off and threw them into the river.”

Other pastors expressed concern at the tone of some of Dr. Heath’s comments in the LOTS.  “He seemed a little judgemental.  It seems to us that he should be more gracious when he reports on the churches where he preached… churches that sacrificed to give him a nice fat honorarium.”

Pastor Phil Pew of Winston-Salem, North Carolina thought these kinds of comments might be out of bounds for publishers like Heath.  “My granma always taught me, ‘if ya cain’t say nuthin’ nice, don’t say nuthin’ atall.’  I ain’t susure that Dr. Heath mightn’t o’ crossed a line or two with that last article.”

“I was just trying for a little authenticity.  Every year at the LOTS Convention, we get at least one message on being real, on not being fake.  I just thought I’d try it out for size.  See how everyone liked it.”

But others think that perhaps Heath was a little beyond authentic.  “I spent the third Sunday of December at Main Street Baptist Church of Bloomburg, Pennsylvania.  Just a handful of people showed up for the meeting, most of them late, and most of them slept through my preaching.  I tried to keep a straight face when they complemented my preaching, but a couple of times I had to get out my hanky and blow my nose,” said Heath in his article.

“I really couldn’t wait to get out of there,” Heath continued.  That Saturday, I headed for Phoenix, Arizona, and the (supposedly) red hot, on fire, Brighter Vision Baptist Church.  What a disappointment.  These people obviously believe their press releases.  They haven’t really grown much since the last time, just a lot of new faces, and almost none of the people who were here when I came last year.  This place is all hype.”

“After Sunday, I had a quick bite to eat in the airport, and headed out to Barnseville, Georgia, and the Snooty Hills Baptist Church.  Of all the compromising Independent Baptist Churches that plague our movement, this one might be the worst.  Sure, they are big, and growing.  What would you expect.  Their music is racy, their girls dress like sluts, they turn a blind eye to sin, and their pastoral staff is each one neighing after his neighbor’s wife.  I preached on sin, and you could have heard a pin drop.  The altars were empty after the message.  Pastors, we’ve got to get back to sin-hatin’, devil-spittin’, world-gratin’ hell-fire preachin’, or our movement is G-O-N-E gone!”

Pastor Drew Crowders was outraged.  “I can’t believe he would print this,” he said, crumpling and uncrumpling his latest edition of the Lord. I’ve supported the Lord of the Sword for years and years.  We just finished a subscription drive.  I travel to the Convention every year.  I have him preach here every year. He has a standing invitation to fill my pulpit whenever he wants to come.  And now this.”

Crowders stops to control his quivering lip.  “He won’t be back again in my church,”  he said emphatically.

Meanwhile, other pastors were somewhat amused.  “That LOTS crowd has been a ‘good-ole’-boy network’ for some time now.  Nice to see a change.”  One pastor, who has never been invited to speak at the LOTS Convention, but who has spent some time writing about their “Mutual Admiration Society of Compromise” was cheered by the article.  “This does my heart good,” said Dr. Jack Hammer.  I might even think about reading this paper, if he keeps it up.”

A spokesperson for the Lord of the Sword had no comment about how the editor’s candor has affected subscriptions.  “We operate by faith, and stand for truth.  We don’t measure our success by subscriptions.”

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  1. December 22, 2009 at 6:46 pm

    That is rich! 🙂 Almost as rich as my wife’s pumpkin cheesecake. Thanks. It does my heart good.

  2. artdunham
    December 23, 2009 at 5:40 am

    Wow! Fiction at its finest, but I wish it could be true!

  3. Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus
    December 23, 2009 at 11:53 am

    For some reason, the phrase “The Sword of the Lord, and of Shelton” that I read somewhere (maybe here?) has always struck me as titilatingly funny.

  4. Mike Allison
    December 28, 2009 at 7:11 am

    Waste of time to read, and if it wasn’t a waste of your time to write your time isn’t worth much. More importantly, the Lord was honored HOW?

    Colossians 4:5,6 Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. 6Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

    Eph. 4:30, 31 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

    1Cor. 10:31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

    • artdunham
      December 28, 2009 at 7:39 am

      Wow, we can only hope that we can go to enough seminars and meetings to be as holy as you are. But, alas, I’m probably a hopeless case.
      🙂

  5. December 28, 2009 at 7:55 am

    Epic Fail Mr Allison.

    I beg you forgive me sir, but if you look at the topic for the month somewhere among the alliteration you get the idea this post was made with as much in mind.

    It was IMHO very amusing. Trying to imagine a world where said newspapers editor would actually start naming names from within the movements protected folds is amusing.

    Again this is a stab at humor. Mr Allison YMMV.

    May God richly bless you sir.

    Respectfully Submitted

    Br Steve

    Gal. 2.20

  6. Karyn
    December 29, 2009 at 9:20 am

    YMMV???

    • December 29, 2009 at 3:15 pm

      Your
      Mileage
      May
      Vary

      R/S

      Br Steve

      Gal. 2.20

  7. January 4, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    Dr. Allison is correct. It was a waste of time to write this. The Sword of the Lord will only address issues with Bob Jones and the Southern Baptist Convention. They aren’t going to deal with sin amongst their constituents. I should know that. It is a waste of breath to say these things, and a waste of good hope to want something different.

    David Cloud is correct in his assessment of them as the “Mutual Admiration Society of Compromise.” After all, they won’t even address the men, prominently featured in their convention, who speak for and fellowship with Southern Baptists. I’ll not be expecting to see any sort of article in the Sword addressing Charles Keen’s error .

    So, yes, it was a waste of time to write it. But one can still hope.

    • Br Steve
      January 6, 2010 at 8:42 am

      Charles Keen whos this? and his error.

      Tried Google to no avail.

      Respectfully Submitted

      Br Steve

      Gal. 2:20

  8. January 5, 2010 at 1:13 am

    How much was your comment about a comment about a waste of time worth? And having said that, this is a comment about a comment about a comment about a waste of time. It must be a huge waste. And speaking of a huge waste. Actually waist. After the holiday season, I’ve been thinking about how that time has caused my waist to grow. The waist of time.

  9. January 5, 2010 at 11:45 am

    Well, today is my birthday, and my waist grew a LOT today. So I waisted time today too. But it sher wer gooooood. 🙂

  10. January 5, 2010 at 11:47 am

    Don, your birthday is a big waist.

  11. January 5, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    Ya’ll need to quit wasting my time by posting comments. They keep showing up in the RSS feed compelling me to read them.

  12. January 5, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    I’ll waste away if my waiste doesn’t waste more good food. And that would be more like the waste of waist.

  13. January 5, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    Well, Kent, you work hard on your waist lines.

  14. January 5, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    Obviously Dave does too.

  15. January 5, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    Gordy, you know “gordo” in Spanish has to do with the waist line too?

  16. January 6, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    Hey Don, do you think then that one of my high school teachers who called me “Gordo” was really trying to tell me something?

  17. January 6, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    How do you know about my waist line, Don?

    Don’t you notice that my picture is that blank faceless, waistless guy? Why do you think I keep my picture off the web?

    And don’t go looking at Terry McGovern’s blog either. He didn’t have my permission.

  18. January 6, 2010 at 8:14 pm

    I think Bro Dave is reffering to this post:
    http://missionary-insights.blogspot.com/2008/03/from-utah-to-asia.html

    🙂

  19. January 6, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    Wow Keen is an old timer(no disrespect). I expected someone in their 40’s.
    Tom Malone wrote the forward. Did not he(Malone) “graduate to heaven” as they say in SOTL a few years ago? Another prominant IFB that they let get away with compromise is Dr. Johnny Pope. He invites CCM artist Steve Green(who sings at Promde Keeper meetings) to have concerts in his church and even has the piuctures on his church website, yet he is still very
    prominant in some circles.

  20. January 7, 2010 at 6:39 am

    Well, Dave, you know the saying, food and age don’t mix. [Listen to me. We just had Christmas, New Years, and two birthday boys in my house! Just say NOOO!]

    • Buddy Woolbright
      April 23, 2010 at 4:24 pm

      Don Heinz, drop me a line at bevobw@yahoo.com. Let me know how the work in my beloved Chile is doing. be 2 Timoteo 1:9

  21. Br Steve
    January 7, 2010 at 11:03 am

    Charles Keen whos this? and his error?

    Tried Google to no avail.

    Respectfully Submitted

    Br Steve

    Gal. 2:20

  22. January 7, 2010 at 12:25 pm

    Br Steve :Charles Keen whos this? and his error?
    Tried Google to no avail.
    Respectfully Submitted
    Br Steve
    Gal. 2:20

    0

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  23. January 7, 2010 at 12:30 pm

    Ok so the above qoute does not work. Anyway try Charles Keen Publications or

    Thinking Outside the box by Charles F. Keen. You can find out about him at Way of

    Life Literature, which you can get to by going to the Links page at this blog. At

    Way of Life you can type in Charles Keen on the search and it should be on a three

    part series at on TheFriday Church News Notes from a couple months back.

  24. January 7, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    Of course, you fellows understand that addressing error and sin within the ranks qualifies as “grieving the Holy Spirit.” Johnny Pope? You mean the guy who speaks for the World Baptist Fellowship alongside Johnny Hunt? Bitter envying and strife, that’s what I see. Think outside the box a bit more, willya? Better yet, Think Outside the Book. And six thumbs up on that one.

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